Why the story you are telling yourself is keeping you from making progress (and how to change it)

Change your thoughts and change your outcomes. If you believe that your way of thinking does not influence your results then you may want to begin by changing that thought. I have spent so much time observing the connection between how we think and the results that come from our way of thinking, desirable or not. Fitness and health related or not.

For years this concept never crossed my mind. I mean, I always believed in positive thinking and believing in myself but somewhere along the way I realized that my thoughts did not match the direction of everything in my life. I was building up this great big story about why I was unable to do certain things.

It could sound something like this.

When I go on vacation, I always eat bad.

I am like this because of my parents.

I can’t stop snacking.

I am too busy.

I can’t stick to a plan.

I don’t trust anyone.


This is a quote I love by Tony Robbins and I talk a lot with clients about justifying food and fitness choices and the stories each of us create around eating and exercise. However you could easily apply this to the way you think about yourself, your job and your relationships. The trouble is, these stories become our reality.  And when you argue for your struggles you get to keep on struggling. If you say you don’t trust anyone, you get to keep on not trusting anyone. If you say you eat bad on vacation, you get to keep eating bad on vacation.

They become the way you live your life and think about yourself. And if you are constantly thinking negative, focusing on what you don’t have or what you can’t do, or pushing the blame on to someone else, you are already sending yourself in a direction to be where you don’t want to be.

Have you ever though about changing your story?

Awareness is the first step.

Once you know what the true emotions are that drive your actions you will be able to practice them over and over and over.

You many not even realize how negative you thoughts may be until you start to focus on them. Put a rubber band on one wrist and for a day every time you think something negative, complain or try to keep replaying your sad story switch the band to the other wrist.

Focus on the why more than the what.

For example, when eating healthier it is not enough to simply change your food choices. We have all been there before. You start following a meal plan or eating on or off limit foods and any one can do that for awhile. But what happens when you are stressed, bored, lonely or don’t have access to your on plan food?  You have to change the why behind your choices. If you *practice* making different choices when you are stressed, you will come better at the choices you make. If you practice snacking endlessly when you are stressed, you will become better at snacking endlessly. 

Choose how you perceive your reality

Once you figure out the why behind your story you can make a conscious choice not to believe what you are telling yourself. Because you DO have a choice. You have a choice in your beliefs as hard as it may be.  We can easily believe we are amazing people as we are worthless, no good, unsuccessful, so why do we choose the latter? It takes the same amount of energy. You can believe things are happening to you or happening for you. You can believe good things are unavailable to you or not. You can believe you have potential or not. The choice is yours.

It takes practice.

Just like anything else, changing your thought process takes practice. It takes time. It takes trial and error. It takes a lot of failures a long the way. BUT that is where you do not quit. You do not give up. You keep practicing. Because the alternative is giving up and and not trying at all. If you choose that you are giving yourself 100% chance of not changing. Why not at least shoot for 50/50?  You will have moments where you are sad, in a funk, angry etc and that is totally ok! Just be aware of what is driving that emotion and move on as quickly as possible.

Start declaring, not where you are or what you feel you are, but where you want to be or what you believe is possible for yourself.  

I am strong and confident.

I will eat good on vacation.

I have trust in my relationships.

I will be able to stick to a workout plan.

Start focusing on the stories that you want to live out. Start believing that even when life gets tough there is goodness just around the corner.  Let your faith in your opportunities in life be greater than  you fear.  Because even if you change the way you think, put in the hard work and things don’t turn out the way you planned, you are still left with knowing you are awesome and amazing.

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