Why Being Grateful doesn’t mean you have to settle, Part 1


IMG_2979Today I want to talk about having gratitude for yourself, your life, and everything beautiful, and not so beautiful, that surrounds you. 

Somewhere along the way we become conditioned that what we own, where we are in our lives, what we look like, and who we are, just isn’t good enough.  We downplay strengths, compliments, and successes, because somehow allowing ourselves to be good enough, just doesn’t cut it.

I think there is an underlying  fear within all of us, if we invite goodness, gratitude and confidence into our lives we somehow set ourselves up for disaster, letdown, and failure. It feels if we are grateful for our current situation, accept a compliment with confidence, or find happiness, even when goals have not been met, we won’t be motivated to improve or progress in our lives.  In a world of already “not good enough’s” we desperately try to minimize as many negative emotions as possible. Like this quote says though, we are all meant to shine.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?  Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

Let yourself shine.

We bring so much to the lives of others by simply showing up as ourselves. Not when we say whatever we feel, or criticize and bash people with open brutal honesty, but when we show up with courage, confidence and purpose as ourselves. There is no need to play small or downplay our amazingness. We can show up with gratitude and know that our current conditions are exactly as they were intended to be and we have it in our control to improve, while being content with where we are.

This is tough because often our insecurities come out in blame, envy, comparison and withdrawal. We get caught in a never ending cycle of not being “good enough” and current acceptance gets confused with resignation.

Remember there is not a guideline for who we should and should not be, what we should and should not feel, or where we should be in our lives. I should be happier, I should be more exciting, I should be leaner, I should eat a certain way,etc. When we feel we should be a certain way, we are then telling ourselves that we are not good enough right now.

What if we changed our perspective? To no longer devalue ourselves and our feelings but GIVE value to ourselves, our feelings and accept who we are and how we feel. We do not need to rely on other people to tell us we are good enough, we can simply rely on ourselves.

When we rely on constant validation from others we are constantly living in a world of dissatisfaction. If we can learn to accept and start loving ourselves, we will not have to rely on it as much from others. When will we be enough? 

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Enough is now.  Not if or when. Enough is NOT the following statements. 

“I will be happy when I lose weight.”

“I will be happy if I get a new job.”

“I will be happy when I am in a different relationship.”

“I will be happy if I made more money.”

Believing you are enough right NOW, is the first step of your journey of progress and change. You can strive for all of the above, but why not be happy right this moment, right now, while working towards your goal? More money could be 10 years from now. A 50 lb weight loss could be a year from now.

Are you going to spend all that time miserable and upset the way you are, OR are you going to embrace yourself, and life, to the fullest, right now exactly the way you are? Be grateful for the present moments and people and you will find happiness and joy to be more abundant in life.

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