Fearless is not doing things that make you really uncomfortable or scared. It is doing more of the things that you actually want to do.
“Mom says if you are scared of something you probably should do it” my sister told me as we stood on the edge of a freezing cold, stunningly bright blue pool of water in Oregon.
Ugh. Words of perspective from the two most open minded, reasonable, accepting people on the planet, I thought. I don’t really know why I was so resistant to jump into the water. Maybe it was the seconds of discomfort I was envisioning. Or that I just didn’t feel like it. Or that I am a bit stubborn. It wasn’t even that big of a deal. I just wasn’t in the mood to step out of my comfort zone. But I did. I jumped into the water partially because my boyfriend partnered up with my sister against me and I gave into the peer pressure. But deep down because I wanted to.
When it comes to the big decisions in life I must say I am pretty brave and resilient, even knowing how hard the next step might be. But with the little things I am just a big wimp sometimes. I do crave being more fearless and over the years I have learned some major life lessons that have to do with not just showing up to the world with who I am, but owning who I am along the way.
While this can apply to big things, it also greatly applies to our day to day activities. Whether I want to take more walks and hikes, try new restaurants or spend the afternoon in the sun, I want to be doing more of the things I want to do. Now, there is a balance of course because we can’t just throw our life and relationships aside so we can constantly be on the lookout for ourselves but we can work towards more of a balance of things that bring a joy and happiness. Ask your self what your soul is dying to do (insignificantly seemingly or not) and then go do it?
Spend time with people who make you feel alive and stay away from dream crushers.
And by alive I mean people who’s company you enjoy and people who enhance your life rather than take away from it. Have you heard the bank account analogy before? Your relationships are like your checking account and it is inevitable you will have withdrawals and deposits ongoing. But you kinda need to have enough enough deposits to keep you from overdrawing too much. Spend more time with people who lift you up and less time with people who bring you down.
Have you ever been so excited about something only to present an idea to someone else and your enthusiasm was immediately crushed by either the other persons realism, lack of excitement or judgements? I call these people dream crushers and find that either:
a) they look at the world with the most realistic of thoughts and can’t see dreams without an exact set of steps to get there
b) people who are intimidated by your passion and want to crush it because they are covering up their own insecurities.
Neither is right or wrong but my point is to not let them or their responses dull your shine or enthusiasm. I am kind of a pro at letting someone ruin my day by their harsh words or lack of encouragement or enthusiasm but I realize this is more of a ME issue then about them. Be fearless with your ideas, your passions, your dreams, you goals and don’t let anyone dull your shine.
Let yourself shine.
Do you ever not wear that new shirt because you want to save it for a special night?
Do you save the fancy dishes or not sit in the fancy room because you don’t want to mess things up?
Have you ever felt bad about not doing something even though you really did not want to do it?
Or not expressing your honest opinion because you were afraid of the outcome or how someone would respond?
These are all examples of us staying “small” is this great big world.
And being small and playing afraid does nothing to help us grow or shine as a person. Shrinking to prevent other people from feeling bad or insecure takes away from your light, your love and your authenticity. Hiding behind the clouds keeps you fearful in a sense.
Who am I not to show up to the world as I am? We fear we will be rejected, hurt or judged and we probably will be at some point but it is all up to us on how we handle it. Show up to the world as you are and let others deal with it. NOW this is not an excuse to just go around and be an asshole to everyone and start letting all your thoughts come out no filter and say screw you I don’t care what you think!
But to be able to express how you feel and be how you are with compassion, no judgement and let the world respond to you as they will.
Create new beliefs.
What types of self limiting beliefs do you have about yourself right now? That you are unloveable, boring, have no opportunities, have no money, have no friends, can’t keep a relationship? The trouble with adopting these types of beliefs is that we encourage the behavior in the direction we are thinking.
If you continue to believe you don’t have enough money, you will continue not to have enough money.
If you believe you can’t keep a relationship, you will not have one.
If you believe it is too difficult to have a healthy lifestyle it will be harder to have one.
Write down one self limiting belief you have about yourself right now and then change that belief. Write not what you believe now, but who or what you want to be.
I have enough money.
I am good at relationships.
I have it within me to live a healthy life.
And yes repeat it to yourself and start to adopt a new way of thinking. Because the more you believe, the more you are giving yourself permission to show up to the world as you are and who you want to be.