When Your Baby Sister Has Babies Before You

First of all, Happy Mothers Day to all the mamas out there. I for one, am in awe of all you and your role as a woman and mother. Whether you have chose to stay at home or work part or full time, whether you are a 28 year old mother of two babies or a 55 year old mother of 20 somethings you are appreciated, respected, and loved for all you do. DISCLAIMER: The only baby I have right now is my dogbaby, Lulu. This is simply a tribute to my sister on Mothers Day. ūüėČ Ok back to the blog. So¬†my baby sister is not exactly a baby, and not even the youngest of the three sisters. But¬†she will always be my younger sister, Jenny. ¬†At some point being the oldest just becomes a title and even though you may have been looked up to being the oldest all your life, there becomes a point where you realize you look up to your younger siblings for different reasons. IMG_2300

Honesty, Jenny was MEANT to have babies before me!¬†Her patience, love and care absolutely amaze me day in, day out. When my mom visited the week Jenny’s first was born, my mom would wake up in the middle of the night withJenny to¬†see if she could help (ahhh just a mom thing to do). Jenny would just say “Mom, I am fine. I have to learn how to do this on my own anyway.” I told our Mom, “Mom do not expect it to be this easy when I have a baby someday.” I didn’t know if Jenny’s patience, calmness and independence would translate into motherhood, but it sure did.

I have watched her¬†natural mama instincts evolve and in the midst of chaos Jenny remains calm, thoughtful, proactive and reactive. And I have witnessed the whole process!¬†I watched her give birth to her baby daughter, Peyton,¬†and son, Elliott.¬†I watched her hold them¬†for the first time in her arms, the first eye to eye contact and the first skin to skin contact of a mother and child. ¬†I watched her husband, watch her, in strength, proudness and amazement. I observed her¬†first sleepness week (ok, weeks and months) home, the first time the¬†babies was sick, the first time she didn’t know what to do in a particular situation. I watched some of the first steps,¬†heard the first words¬†and felt the joy it brought to my sister.¬†And I have been able to experience it as well.

I only see glimpses of her full life but I have learned so much from her. I know I am strong in my own ways but this strength is what I so admire from Jenny.  To be able to hold her own and embrace motherhood in such an honest way, true to who she is as a woman, mother and person.  Her stern patience when needed to discipline, her genuine interest in being engaged with her children, wanting to find the best for their well-being, her ability to take care of her self eating healthy and working out, her ability to overcome the hard times and unpredictable situations, yet remain (or appear to be) calm and collected. And note to Jenny, even if you are not so calm and collected and needed to have a mini breakdown you know I would admire you just the same.

As a mom, you learn, give up and gain so much in such a short period of time. I did not know anything about about taking care of a baby, having not been around many in my life. I have learned how to change a diaper, feed a baby, put them to sleep, take them out of bed in the morning (my favorite), comfort them, not freak out when they cry and all the things in-between. When Jenny¬†left me for the first time with Peyton as a newborn,¬†I had no clue what to do, but Jenny left me with directions and instructions and as she walked out the door she said “Ah I just feel so comfortable leaving her with you.” Must be that sisterly trust cause I was freaking out. I sat and stared at her for three hours straight so I didn’t miss a damn thing.

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I am living through her what I thought I would have at this time in my life. And you know what, at this point I am ok with it. It simply is not my time, I needed Jenny to show me the ropes first. ūüôā I am exactly where I should be. Exactly. And¬†I love those two babies with all my heart.¬†I love seeing them straight from the womb (literally people, straight…from..the…womb, That is a whole other blog) to where they are now. Their first giggles, sounds, words and steps bring me so much happiness, and they are not even my own. ¬†I share in their joys and accomplishments and I love being an aunt.

So for the time being our lunch dates and shopping trips are not all that often, our dance parties in the living room now have a 3 year old, our conversations includes more baby talk and interjections from the babies but our bond is still ever so strong.  And I love listening, observing and learning and getting this preview into motherhood. And I will be honest, sometime its scares me shitless but I can see and feel the reward, love, and purpose it brings to life.

I love you Jenny, Peyton and Elliot! Happy Mother’s Day!

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