Monthly Archives: May 2014

The #1 Thing Holding You Back In Life

I have found a common theme in what holds me back in life. It can come in form of work, it can come in form of relationships and it can come in form of doing the things I want to do on a daily basis. That common theme falls under one thing – not taking action.

There are many reasons we as individuals decide not to take action. We are fearful or have doubt about the outcome,  we are unmotivated and feel lazy, we would rather stay in our comfort zone, or we fall into victim mode and and find all the reasons why we can’t do something: it’s too hard, we don’t have the money, time, or understanding of what it is we really want or what we really need.  We let others dictate our lives with their critiques and criticisms of what they think we cannot do. We fall into the trap of wondering why our life is a certain way and experience reoccurring negative emotions , yet we do not do anything to change it. We do not take action.

I am a person who thrives it security, comfort and routine (at least I think I do) but about 8 years ago,  I decided I wanted to become a Pilates Instructor. It was something I had contemplated on and off. This was not a weekend and your you done kind of thing. This was a huge time and money investment and a huge step into the unknown and unfamiliar.  I calculated the hours I would put it, how long it would take me to make the money I invested back and outlined the courses and classes I would need.   I knew I wanted to do it and I took the steps to make it happen.  For me this is a rare time in my life where I took a huge step into the unknown but looking back I feel so proud because  I took action, I took the steps to make it happen. I did not let any doubt, fear or anxiety about whether or not it would work out overcome me.

Do you ever have thoughts about how you want your life to be but rather than take action, dwell on why things are not the way they are? Or maybe you have a dream or plan you are really excited and passionate about, yet never take action to make it happen. We find excuses and blame others when really the only thing that is stopping us from wanting to our lives to be a certain way is ourselves.

I struggle with this as well but I find the easiest way to calm the thoughts of doubt, victim mode and negativity is to take action. I even find this with something as simple as a to-do list. I think of all the things on that list and stress about it. Yet when I take action, when I check one thing off that list, I feel better, more accomplished. I am actually doing something rather than thinking about it.

When we experience these emotions, whether that be of doubt, fear or stress, we must look them directly in their eyes and practice overcoming them, rather than letting them overcome us. This is actually an amazing concept to think about, that we are so gifted and blessed to have the consciousness and ability to make a change.

We must face these challenges and ask:

How do I fix this?

What actions can I take to change this situation?

How can I practice this on a regular basis to see progress and change?

We can apply this to any and every situation. Are you unhappy with your body? List three things you can do to change it, and then take ACTION.  Are you unhappy with your job? List three things you can do to change it, and then take ACTION. Do you want to take a trip around the world? List three ways to help you accomplish this and, take ACTION.

Remember that while awareness of what you is the first step, action is the second. A failed action is better than no action because attempting something is better than doing nothing at all.

When Your Baby Sister Has Babies Before You

First of all, Happy Mothers Day to all the mamas out there. I for one, am in awe of all you and your role as a woman and mother. Whether you have chose to stay at home or work part or full time, whether you are a 28 year old mother of two babies or a 55 year old mother of 20 somethings you are appreciated, respected, and loved for all you do. DISCLAIMER: The only baby I have right now is my dogbaby, Lulu. This is simply a tribute to my sister on Mothers Day. 😉 Ok back to the blog. So my baby sister is not exactly a baby, and not even the youngest of the three sisters. But she will always be my younger sister, Jenny.  At some point being the oldest just becomes a title and even though you may have been looked up to being the oldest all your life, there becomes a point where you realize you look up to your younger siblings for different reasons. IMG_2300

Honesty, Jenny was MEANT to have babies before me! Her patience, love and care absolutely amaze me day in, day out. When my mom visited the week Jenny’s first was born, my mom would wake up in the middle of the night withJenny to see if she could help (ahhh just a mom thing to do). Jenny would just say “Mom, I am fine. I have to learn how to do this on my own anyway.” I told our Mom, “Mom do not expect it to be this easy when I have a baby someday.” I didn’t know if Jenny’s patience, calmness and independence would translate into motherhood, but it sure did.

I have watched her natural mama instincts evolve and in the midst of chaos Jenny remains calm, thoughtful, proactive and reactive. And I have witnessed the whole process! I watched her give birth to her baby daughter, Peyton, and son, Elliott. I watched her hold them for the first time in her arms, the first eye to eye contact and the first skin to skin contact of a mother and child.  I watched her husband, watch her, in strength, proudness and amazement. I observed her first sleepness week (ok, weeks and months) home, the first time the babies was sick, the first time she didn’t know what to do in a particular situation. I watched some of the first steps, heard the first words and felt the joy it brought to my sister. And I have been able to experience it as well.

I only see glimpses of her full life but I have learned so much from her. I know I am strong in my own ways but this strength is what I so admire from Jenny.  To be able to hold her own and embrace motherhood in such an honest way, true to who she is as a woman, mother and person.  Her stern patience when needed to discipline, her genuine interest in being engaged with her children, wanting to find the best for their well-being, her ability to take care of her self eating healthy and working out, her ability to overcome the hard times and unpredictable situations, yet remain (or appear to be) calm and collected. And note to Jenny, even if you are not so calm and collected and needed to have a mini breakdown you know I would admire you just the same.

As a mom, you learn, give up and gain so much in such a short period of time. I did not know anything about about taking care of a baby, having not been around many in my life. I have learned how to change a diaper, feed a baby, put them to sleep, take them out of bed in the morning (my favorite), comfort them, not freak out when they cry and all the things in-between. When Jenny left me for the first time with Peyton as a newborn, I had no clue what to do, but Jenny left me with directions and instructions and as she walked out the door she said “Ah I just feel so comfortable leaving her with you.” Must be that sisterly trust cause I was freaking out. I sat and stared at her for three hours straight so I didn’t miss a damn thing.

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I am living through her what I thought I would have at this time in my life. And you know what, at this point I am ok with it. It simply is not my time, I needed Jenny to show me the ropes first. 🙂 I am exactly where I should be. Exactly. And I love those two babies with all my heart. I love seeing them straight from the womb (literally people, straight…from..the…womb, That is a whole other blog) to where they are now. Their first giggles, sounds, words and steps bring me so much happiness, and they are not even my own.  I share in their joys and accomplishments and I love being an aunt.

So for the time being our lunch dates and shopping trips are not all that often, our dance parties in the living room now have a 3 year old, our conversations includes more baby talk and interjections from the babies but our bond is still ever so strong.  And I love listening, observing and learning and getting this preview into motherhood. And I will be honest, sometime its scares me shitless but I can see and feel the reward, love, and purpose it brings to life.

I love you Jenny, Peyton and Elliot! Happy Mother’s Day!

Everything In Moderation, Even Moderation

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I posted this quote on my Instagram the other day because it speaks the truth to me. Awhile back someone mentioned to me how much they despise the word moderation. It’s annoying and overused were the words spoken verbatim.

As I thought more about it I did agree with her comments. I tried to think of different words that delivered the same message. However I kept giving the same advice to my clients about moderation. Moderate this, moderate that. I could not really come up with anything better.  As annoying as it is, it is used all the time because it speaks the TRUTH and can be DIFFICULT for many to apply to their lives.

Too much of most things usually send us overboard? For example:

Too much food.

Too much alcohol.

Too much working out.

Too much stress.

Too much spending.

It is okay to indulge in food and alcohol but can you moderate it to control your life?

It is okay to workout hard and often, but can your body recover?

It is okay to be stressed out about work, workouts, family and life but can you bring it back down?

It is okay to buy things for yourself and spend money, but does it build uncontrollable debt?

Can you moderate it? These are the questions we need to ask ourselves.  Most of the time it is important to moderate things that can affect our body and mind to different extremes. In my opinion moderation is a great tool in many aspects of our life. But sometimes, sometimes it is ok to not be moderate.   Sometimes you just have to live life and not worry about following whatever rules we have in our head about moderation.

It is okay to enjoy a huge meal to your hearts content!

It is okay to have a few extra drinks every once in a while!

It is okay to workout twice a day!

It is okay to be stressed! (Stress can be good to a certain degree)

It is okay to splurge on a fancy dinner or an unnecessary item that you don’t really “need.”

These things may be breaking moderation, but we need a break from moderation every once in awhile! Moderation is important because with all of these example we know that indulging too much in any of the above can have small, moderate or severe consequences.

With all the effort we put in to doing things a certain way, doing what we should and should not do, and finding balance through guidelines  society has set, moderation itself needs a break too.

Everything in moderation, even moderation.